The secrets behind Julia Roberts’ rock-solid 22-YEAR marriage to Danny Moder: How Pretty Woman star has defied Hollywood curse to find lasting love and happiness – after meeting her husband on-set when they were both in OTHER relationships
Over the years, many A-list romances have fallen prey to the Hollywood curse, struggling to come to grips with the fierce spotlight that is often put on their personal lives and often succumbing to the pressures that come with dating in the public eye.
But ultra-private power couple Julia Roberts and Danny Moder have defied all odds, and their relationship is as rock solid now as it was when they first tied the knot more than two decades ago.
While the actress, 56, and the cinematographer, 55, have kept many details of their love story out of the spotlight, when they do share rare glimpses into their marriage, it’s clear that they are as happy as could be together, nearly 22 years after they walked down the aisle.
Most recently, Julia shared a loved-up snap of her and Danny cuddling in honor of his 55th birthday, which she captioned, ‘Happy birthday to this amazing man who lights up our world.’
Perhaps it’s because they work so hard to keep their romance private – something that is certainly not easy for one of the biggest movie stars on the globe – that their marriage has stayed strong for so long.
The Pretty Woman alum thinks it’s their physical connection that has kept the spark alive – when asked what she thought the key to ‘a happy marriage’ was in an interview last month, she jokingly responded, ‘Lots of kissing.’
Whatever it may be, Julia and Danny have shown time and time again that they are the real deal – but that doesn’t mean they haven’t faced their fair share of controversy.
In fact, their romance started off by being shrouded in scandal since they met when they were both seeing other people – Danny was married – but they both split from their respective partners soon after.
And when news hit the web that they were dating not long after he finalized his divorce, many speculated that Julia was to blame for the dissolvement of his marriage, something she has fiercely denied.
The eyebrow-raising start may not seem like the great foundation for a long-lasting love, but Julia and Danny – who went on to welcome three kids together – have proven otherwise.
Since then, she has referred to him as her ‘anchor’ and called seeing him walk through her door every day a ‘recurring dream.’ She has gushed over his ability to ‘make her feel like her most comfortable self’ by ‘shining a light’ on her best traits.
She even once referred to meeting him as a ‘seismic shift’ in her life, adding, ‘It all starts with Danny Moder.’
As the actress shares a touching tribute to her husband of nearly 22 years in honor of his birthday, FEMAIL rounded up everything we know about the couple.
From the truth about how they met and when they got together to the heartwarming things they’ve said about each other, here’s a complete timeline of Julia and Danny’s relationship.
Julia and Danny first met in 2000 on set of the movie The Mexican, where he was working as a cameraman and she was starring as Brad Pitt‘s love interest, Samantha.
At the time, they were both taken by other people – she was in a romance with actor Benjamin Bratt, while Danny was married to makeup artist Vera Steimberg.
Julia later reflected on growing close to Danny while making the movie to Oprah in 2003.
‘On the set, I get pretty relaxed. These guys see me at 5 in the morning, when I come stumbling onto the set like, “What the hell is going on?”‘ she joked.
‘In those circumstances, you can see what a person’s really made of. Some great friendships can be formed because you see one another at your best and worst.
‘[I was] stressed-out, maxed-out, exhausted, not knowing which end is up. And you rely on each other so much. So I think that had a profound effect on our friendship.’
She told Oprah that right away, she could see ‘how wonderful’ Danny was, but because they were both in relationships, she insisted that they were just friends at first.
But after she and Benjamin split in June 2001 and Danny filed for divorce from his wife that same year, they quickly started dating.
But Julia stated that their feelings for one another had nothing to do with their respective breakups.
When asked if she ’caused’ the dissolvement of his marriage, Julia replied, ‘No. I’m an easy person to point the finger at and I see that. I don’t begrudge people the easy finger-point. It just doesn’t happen to be so.
‘He sorted his whole thing out, separate and apart from me. And I sorted my life out, separate and apart from him.
‘I think that’s the only reason we were able to ultimately fall in love with each other and be together.’
She admitted that taking the leap to got from pals to lovers was ‘horrible’ because she was terrified of ‘losing’ her close ‘friend’ if things went awry.
Thankfully, things didn’t, and Julia and Danny tied the knot on July 4, 2002, during an intimate ceremony held on her New Mexico ranch.
According to People, the couple invited their closest friends and family members over to ‘celebrate Independence Day’ – and didn’t tell their guests that they were going to get married that day.
Julia and Danny tied the knot on July 4, 2002, during an intimate ceremony held on her New Mexico ranch. Seen in 2013
At midnight, the couple shocked the crowd when they revealed they were actually there for their wedding.
They exchanged vows ‘under an arch made from white and pink silk sheaths,’ and surrounded by ‘red, white and pink rose petals’ and ‘flickering candles and Chinese lanterns.’
‘It was such a magical, intimate gathering, it felt like we were eaves-dropping, like we were invited into someone’s secret,’ an onlooker dished.
The ceremony lasted 20 minutes and was officiated by Julia’s longtime friend Barry Hirsch.
There were ‘no flower girls, no bridesmaids, no groomsmen and no celebrity guests,’ the outlet reported.
‘Just the outline of the 13,000-foot Sangre de Cristo Mountains against the star-filled sky.
‘And Julia, in a pale pink cotton halter dress embroidered with pearls and antique beads and hand-painted with flowers, and Danny, in a red ruffled shirt and tan pants, exchanging simple handwritten vows.’
During her sit-down with Oprah in 2003, one year after their nuptials, Julia couldn’t stop gushing over Danny.
Julia then gave birth to their third child, a baby boy who they named Henry. She is seen with their three kids in 2018
She told the star, ‘He’s such a great listener and a great communicator. He majored in psychology in college, and I remember saying to my sister one time that he can basically fix all my problems.’
Julia added of her romance, ‘Every cell in my body says yes. We’re together constantly.
‘Part of the reason why some of the relationships I’ve had in my past worked for so long is because when you’re making movies, a huge gap of time can pass when you don’t even see the person. Danny and I are together 21 hours a day.
‘I’m so lucky to be crazy happy in my life. And I think it’s not so much that I’m happier now than ever; it’s that I’m more content. I’m in the harbor of my life.
‘And a huge part of it is my marriage. My husband, Danny, has really shined the light for me. He makes me feel my most comfortable self. I don’t alter myself in any way.
‘And he points out aspects of myself, good and bad, that maybe I don’t pay attention to. He shines light, so I can really see what’s there and not shy away from it.’
In November 2004, they welcomed twins, named Phinnaeus and Hazel, and in June 2007, she gave birth to their third child, a baby boy who they named Henry.
While Julia and Danny have kept their romance mostly out of the spotlight since then, they have gushed over one another a few times over the years.
They have also worked together on numerous projects; most notably, she starred in 2015 thriller The Secret In Their Eyes, which he served as the cinematographer for.
They have also worked together on numerous projects. They’re seen together in 2015
And afterwards, the actress credited her husband with helping her get the part just right.
‘We’ve done a number of things together, and it’s always kind of nerve-wracking for me because he’s my husband and I want him to think I’m awesome,’ she revealed.
‘But this was a collaboration where I realized that if he hadn’t been there I don’t think I could have fashioned together the performance that I wanted to.’
During an interview with People in 2017, Julia had the sweetest things to say about her spouse.
‘Every day my husband walks in the door it’s like a recurring dream,’ she raved. ‘I’m like, “Ah, he’s back.”‘
And in 2018, she called meeting Danny a ‘seismic shift’ during a sit-down with Gwyneth Paltrow on her Goop podcast.
‘Getting married to Danny – that was the first, like, my life will never be the same in the most incredible, indescribable way,’ she said.
‘The best decision I ever made in my entire life was to hitch my wagon to Danny Moder.’
She added that their connection was still ‘getting deeper’ as time goes by, telling the fellow actress, ‘He truly, to this day, to this minute is just my favorite human.
‘I’m more interested in what he has to say or his point of view just than anybody. Really, we’re so lucky in that way. We just really, really like each other and we just enjoy each other’s company.’
Julia also told CBS News in October 2022 that while being a successful actress is her ‘dream come true,’ her husband and kids always come first.
‘The life that I have built with my husband, the life that we’ve built with our children, that’s the best stuff. To come home at the end of the day, triumphantly to them,’ she explained.
In July of last year, the actress referred to Danny as her ‘anchor’ and the ‘captain of her ship’ during a chat with the Today show.
‘It all starts with Danny Moder,’ she added. ‘For me, understanding how deeply felt life could be really started with him.’
And in December, talk show host Gayle King called the Pretty Woman star out for not being able to contain her smile when she brought up her husband.
‘It’s so embarrassing,’ Julia joked. ‘He’s just my favorite human. He’s so smart and kind and dynamic in the way that he looks at the world and admires people. He’s just so strong and loving.’
When asked to share her secrets to ‘a happy marriage’ on The View that same month, Julia credited ‘lots of kissing’ with keeping their romance alive.
‘Kissing hello and goodbye is really, I think, a critical detail to daily life,’ she added.
